EMPTY :: 3/31/07, 10:56 AM
juz back from mv2.. dear diary.i lost.. everything.. things didnt get better as days goes by,in fact it seems to get worst.i learnt many truth today.n i start to see e whole picture.. finally.......... i m gald.. i m not gona brood over stuff anymore.when things juz dun meant to b,it never will.perhaps it didnt even started before..or in fact,i was never in e picture at all. it juz my part of wishful thinking.. i m still sadden by wad happening at home,or i should say,i nv felt tt terrible before.i wanna b alone.. juz alone..
take care n b happy.......................................................................
The wind is blowing & the leaves are falling. Empty Without You
EMPTY :: 3/30/07, 2:34 AM
i m alone at home now............simply juz alone.i yearn to see my parents so so much..but yet....
this house to me no longer remain warm and hearty.so cold.. so unfamilar.. why things turns out this way.. realli hate it.. cant i do anything to bring things back in place.i quarreled with my dad last night.e first time i realli raised my voice at my dad.i felt so sorry.but i juz hate the things he told me.i know both of u are suffering.. i noe i cant do much to ease e pain,but i realli wish u 2 to b happy.dun tell me to follow who or so if this were to happen.i will juz leave n lead my life alone.i need someone now.someone to juz listen to me talk.. someone .. ... ...
The wind is blowing & the leaves are falling. Empty Without You
EMPTY :: 3/29/07, 1:40 PM
dear diary.. i m realli in a veri sad emotion right now.i realli needa find someone to talk..but i juz dunno how to..this time i realli did not know wad to do.. it no longer like a relationship prob nor a friendship prob.which i can juz crys my eye off.but.. my parents..
they are plannin for a divorce..20 yrs of them raising me up.. and now .. gone..
i realli hate to accept this fact.i realli hate it... why of all .. me..my family.. have to b tear apart..wount there b anything to do to change it? i realli needa someone .. i need a listenin ear n crying shoulders..
The wind is blowing & the leaves are falling. Empty Without You
EMPTY :: 3/28/07, 9:50 PM
was kaixin birthday today..met her up at parklane around 430.steve n mathew was late,so meanwhile waiting for them, we had a game of pool at parklane shopping ctre.was susprise to find my gang of poly peeps there too.so had a few game with leon,james n bobo.quite fun,miss e days of our poly life.lols.. awaiting sch reopen... lols
steve n mathew came around 5,after they arrive,we went to E cathay to buy movie tickets.we watched to show storm e yards.. preety nice show,give it 4/5.. e dance steps were way cool n its totally enjoying n thrilling..but e show was rather long..2 hrs plus.. ended around 730..after e show ended.. i headed straight to spyder first to settle my bill.. lols .. i was pretty drunk last night la..n my friends juz simply drag me home without knowing tt i have not footed e bill..lols.. when i was drunk last night.i think i remembered asking her one thing..i asked her..
`shagua,do u still have feelins for me ?
lols.. serisouly i didnt noe why i pop tt questions out..sorri ! but ......... tt realli a question tt i realli wanted to know.i dunno whether wad i m doin now is right or wrong.or m i juz as foolish as u.waiting for a day tt will never come...
i went down to spyer today..i didnt wanan drink,infact i cant..i vommited blood again..but i realli miss her.. n i dearly wanna see her..but i regretted..actaully sometime its not easy for people to become normal friend when they were once as close.because u no longer get those special care n concern anymore.. there is no one there to stop me from drinking when i noe i cant.no more special given green tea on my desk anymore.i realli miss those days..i realli miss it...
The wind is blowing & the leaves are falling. Empty Without You
EMPTY :: 3/27/07, 6:17 PM
woke up late again as usual.. so tired.dunno y,this days seems to sleep alot,n NOT ENUFF ! lols.. called steve to bugged him up and went to bbdc for lesson.
Received her msg today..from her msg,she is NOT happy.n i m truely not happy because of tt.. i tot she had found her key so i decided to leave for e better but sigh, she seems to be even unhappier this days.from her msg,i could tell she is trying hard..really hard to please n treat this guy well..she realli did love him,despite the things he does,she still wanna treat him well,really wonder why cant he juz treasure n cherish her since he got e opportunity.she is a nice ger.y cant he juz treat her nicely.idiot..
`if u ever get to read my blog,pls.. i m trying to tell u stuff.i do noe a bit or so about u.i dun care wad happen in e past.but since she has chosen u,pls.. juz at e least,treat her as wad she deserve.she isnt asking much,juz purley ure care,concern n love.if u dun mean wad u say,dun hurt her..she is not a float,when u need her,u come,n when u dun,u juz leave... PLS SPARE A THOUGHT FOR HER FEELINS.THANKS !
well,was kaixin birthday.. this for u..
happy birthday to u..
happy birthday to U...
happy birthday to kaiXin...
happy birthday to UuUUuuuuu.....
lols.. do hope u enjoyed ureself last night.sorry,realli drank too much ytd,a bit drunk.. haha..went off early..meet u up today k.. needa pass u ure present too..hmmmm...[ special thanks to david n steve.carried me home ytd.realli appreciate u guys for always being there for me..lols.. thanks bros... ] =)
The wind is blowing & the leaves are falling. Empty Without You
EMPTY :: 3/25/07, 7:05 AM
was working this 2 days at harvey.e crowd realli sucks big time.. sold 15 at e end of this 2 days.sale figure was average.quite disappointed.hmmm.. well.. today i got to know a girl called celine.was having lunch with my collegue at kopitiam,n then this cute looking girl came over and ask to make friends.lucky me.. quite sweet looking la..msg a little while working.suddenly reminds me of e past.how we met and how we used to msged one another..all e sweet memories.. if only ..
hmmm ytd was down at mv2.lols.get to saw her.. so happy...=)but some idiot customer juz think money is everything la..fucker idiots..not all girls are easy u noe.too bad,u juz found a wrong target to prey on .she is not goin to do wad u guys juz wanted.n worst if i m there,over my dead body...to who i dun care.. juz dun touch her..!!!!! SHE IS NOT THOSE TYPE OF EASY GIRLS N SO JUZ FUCK OFF...!!!
felt so usless ytd night.i promise i will b there n protect her,but wad i realli could do is juz to pull her away,nothing else.lousy me..i hate myself..but e least,i m glad shes ok...
left early last night coz her "boyfriend" n kway chap company came.n i noe she will b fine. doesnt wana b in e way.so i left for e better...
=/
The wind is blowing & the leaves are falling. Empty Without You
EMPTY :: 3/24/07, 8:01 PM
woke up v late today.so tired.hmmm,was suppose to meet steve in the morning today to go to bbdc for enrolment.but both overselpt.. lols ... met up with him around 415 at my house .went for a late lunch n proceed to bbdc.the place was packed when we reach there.eager with stuff,we had our first lesson on e day itself.ended around 930.when everything was done,randy called...
he wanted to go mv2 tonight,coz sarah asked him to.he was overjoyed.lols.was e first time sarah ever called to ask him come down herself.i didnt wanted to but he seems rather eager.so bo bian...went down with him. was super packed when we reach there lo.. packed till we had to sit at e counter.was really happy to see her today.but duno why,feelins totally differs.perhaps tt how it should b felt as friends ba.. i no longer had e courage to juz look into her eyes.i means as a friend i shouldnt la.. but perhaps .. i m juz too used to it le.i noe i still feels for her..its a lie saying tt i dun.alcohol and cigi became something i always turn to this days.sigh..michael n company turn up a bit later in e night.so i decided to leave.i dun hate michael,but i hate e way they are together.tt closness..i dunno why,i always seems to have a distance with her,a unknown barrier.she nv was able to behave herself infront of me,yet she can infront of others guys.perhaps i m juz a difficult guy to please... left mv2.
realli wanted to b drunk tonight.took a cab n went down to baby face to find jiany.was susprise to find my younger bro there too.. drank a lot n had lota fun with them.at least,i could disperse some of my emotions off with e after effect of alcohol... went home around 5 plus n concus straight... lols
The wind is blowing & the leaves are falling. Empty Without You
EMPTY :: 3/22/07, 10:03 AM
arghh.. woke up with a terrible headache..
!@#$%^&*#$@
lols.drank alot last night.now suffering e effects.well.. didnt regret.at least i realli had a good sleep last night.haha. woke up like v late today la.was late for e collection of my friends camera.woke up with like 13 miss call n 4 new msges. my friend was all e way at ngee ann poly waiting for me.sorry~.didnt mean it... guess i overselpt a little .. lols...
well..i reach jurong point around 4 plus.collected e cameras then proceed to town to meet my friend n steve.super long journey lo..took like around an hour.zzzz.. worst... rain.!! sianz... met up with steve first at parklane.played lan for a while until around 8 plus.met up with my friend .. pass her e cameras le.then we went to spyder... was hoping to see someone there.but i didnt get to.she wasnt working today...sigh .. andy came to talk to me when i was there.i was susprised.i was told not to drink excessively,lols... well.. i did la..but wad susprise me was who told him? dun realli think much pple knew tt i vomited blood recently ley.. hmmm .. lols.
k la..will control a bit.. anyway wount realli b goin to pub tt often le.no longer had e purpose.it time i get back on track.spend more time in my goals n studies.mean time.. MY LICENSE... lols... i m juz goona get it before my birthday la ..ahaha .. k la.. gonna hit e sheets le.so tired ..nights !
The wind is blowing & the leaves are falling. Empty Without You
EMPTY :: 3/21/07, 11:27 PM
hmmm wented to MV2 last night.i thought i was able to give it all up and remain my cool.but ..i was wrong.e feelin was so strong again ytd.i didnt dare to look at u at all.y m i such a coward.sigh~!this 2 days,to b frank,everytime my msg ringtone rang.i so hope it was u.indeed i got ure msg,but it was no longer tt warm as it used to b."wei" is wad i m called right now,well it wasnt wrong,but perhaps i m juz too used to it u calling me pig.haha. but e least,i noe u are happy,coz u no longer frown when i see u.=) drank so much ytd,i dun wanna think,but it seems tt u are always in my head.i miss u...
this days ,i really appreaciate a lota people,esp david,steve and randy...thanks for being there for me in my lowest moment.Im glad i have u all as my sworn.no regrets. N one last person.. kaixin.thanks for showing me tt much concern.i noe how u felt towards me.u r realli a nice ger.but perhaps u juz appeared at e wrong time.i m sry. no way it will happen now.i wount do it.it juz not fair.we will be very good friend .. ya ?
goin bbdc later.this time,i m super determined to get my license.had so much fun with wei zi bike the other day.lols. gonna get my license before my birthday.tt would be my birthday wish this year. haha..i m looking at my phone every now n then.but i guess ... haha ..
see how it goes ba...
The wind is blowing & the leaves are falling. Empty Without You
EMPTY :: 3/19/07, 5:08 PM
i realli need someone .. someone to really talk to nw.i wanna cry it all out.but i know i cant.cause if i really did,i m juz a sore loser.i lost.i realli lost... to u.
i m feeling realli not alright now.damm lousy feelings.e fact tt we have reverted back to friends.im really upset and affected by it. i hate this feelin. !!!!
i had a lot to say to u.but i juz didnt noe how to put it. but i m glad,at e least i m strong enuff to put those words across u at ure house.i wan u to be happy.i m sry for all this while, i know u have been trying hard to love me n to make me happy.i m realli touched.but perhaps.. we r juz nt meant to b.sigh!
`sha gua..promise me one thing... dun forget me. one day,if u are hurt again,dun b afraid to find me.i will really b there for u. whether to b ure listening ears or your crying shoulders. i promise... if i ever could have e chance again.sha gua,i did realli wan u back.till then... take good care of yourself.
sha gua.. i realli miss u ...
`
The wind is blowing & the leaves are falling. Empty Without You
